Your Name Please?

I’ve grown up with a common name for my age group. “Bill”, so common I’ve come to realize that many times at restaurants I get over looked.

I’m a fella with a rather mild mannered demeanor and in a large crowd that is waiting to get a table I often seem to be overlooked, more than some people that are more assertive.
I am a person that pays attention to social norms, demographics and statistics. One in a dozen times I am overlooked by the hostess and after my patience runs out I politely inquire.
Often times I get an alarmed look and an apology. Indeed, Mr. Polite “Bill” was overlooked.

Years of monitoring and seeing this happen time and time again I decided to see if I could become less anonymous when placing my name at the restaurant.

I approach the young hostess taking the names of people waiting in line to get a table and she looks at me and asks “how many in your party and name?”

I feel it is my time to make a move from the common anonymity of “BILL” and I say; “four in my party and my name is Mr. Mon Kaye Hammre” (I say it with my fake French accent).

I say it loudly enough that others can hear me and when the name is stated it sounds like “Mr. Mon Key Hammer”.

At last I am no longer anonymous. I look the hostess in the eye and tell her that my last name “Hammre” has two M’s to convince her of my sincerity.

She looks at me wide eyed  wondering if I am joking?

She struggles knowing it would be impolite to laugh at my name.

I don’t crack a smile.

It is a bit sadistic on my part to put her though this but I don’t want to be forgotten.

I then let her know that I am a bit hard of hearing and ask her to speak up when you call my name.

Alas, Mr. Mon Kaye Hammre wasn’t forgotten and had a very pleasant meal.

I dedicate this to all the other “Bill’s” in the world and all the little Monkey Hammers.

billkeitel.com